"The One"

There's boob - "official fellator"

REPUBLICANS.PORK

Something for the babbling jackass troll to savor this election cycle.

Pork out Jeb! You're the establishment's choice!

Go for it Ben. You crave power. Kiss the pork ring and "inspire" SDA youth.

Ted Cruz, a klownservatic's klownservatic, LOVES THAT PORK SAMMICH!

We're not done with Ted. Wraps bacon on a gun barrel and EATS IT!

Pork so "inspired" Carly's offshoring of jobs at HP.

Lindsey Graham relies on pork to "inspire" him to endless war.

Pork is the huckster's secret fuel propelling him to his next failed campaign for power. March this chump to the gas oven!

Did pork influence Gov Kasich's "moral" decision to use the ACA to expand medicaid? We report, you decide!

Chew on the pork, Gov Goodhair. Might help the memory!

Yum, yum Marco. This will raise your "value" to the babbling jackass.

No hot dog for man on dog. Have to settle for a pork burger or sammich.

Breitbart LOVES the Donald. The babbling jackass takes its orders from Breitbart.

The Koch bros recommend pork to little low life Scotty Walker. Make the bald spot go away.

Hope for the babbling jackass troll! Chris Christie, Jim Gilmore, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki and Rand Paul. Those kooky klownservatics to our knowledge did not kiss the pork ring.

The Definitive "Crazed Databaze"

Just so you know what our favorite troll means by that:

142. Puddybud, Hey it's the new year... spews: 

Here is the latest PuddyList of HA weasel libtard party hacks. If Puddy missed someone stand up and be counted.

proud loony and his goat
daddy love
Piper is stupid
Piper Sucks
Ann Coulter’s vagina
tadfuio;zxchjn’s vagina
noble
jon devore
seattlemike
artFart
Carl Left Foot Grossman
rujax!
ian
jean goodperson
horse whisperer
joel connelly
proud leftist
proudToBeAnAss
atj
stan
rll
ivan
tlazolteotl
kirk91
eyman Owes Me $500,000
demo_kid
tamakeri
winkydink
sparky
real american
the blatantly obvious
busdrivermike
fricknfrack
sam spade
Luigi Giovanni
daniel k
felix fermin
neil b
davidd
will
perfect voter
geov
lee
Darryl
drool
sarge
markS
btb
ylb – clueless wonder
K
roger rabbit
nemo
windie
boeing bob
donnageddon
broadway joe
rightstillstupid – Left Turn – stillbentover – byebyegop
ewp
Marcel
oneman
tommy thompson
poster child
paul
headless lucy – col biff – etc.
treeFrogFarmer – killatroll
allfactsupportmypositions
thorn
michael
GBS
SeattleJew
David (2)
correctnotright
chris tefan
rhp6033
Undercover Brother
matty
don joe
2cents
justdrivingby
jsa on commercial drive
John Barelli
harry poon
yer killin me
Richard Pope
blue john
liberal dragon
steve
evergreenRailfan

04/13/2009 at 6:46 pm

The Puddybud Series: Back to the Salt Mines!

Over the course of the 8 years that Puddybud has polluted the HA comment threads, all of us liberal regulars have been bored to tears with his semi-regular bragging about his sex life.. It started almost from the beginning.. The comments range from the florid and bloated to the very intimate details but of course, like everything else he blathers about, it's always obnoxious. Like for example:

12:54 am most “husbands” are taking care of bidness with their wives.

People apparently can't comment on HA while the last parts of SNL play in the background. And sex only happens during times the idiot commands.. You get the picture..

Just recently out of the blue, in light of that last bit of idiocy from Puddyahole, it struck me.. This guy seems to comment a lot on Saturday evenings.. And as all of us regulars know, Saturday is a special day of the week to this troll.. Not only is it his day of worship, that at one time, he tried to keep holy..  After sundown on Saturday, the obligations to the almighty are met and then for this troll it is time for, let's say, more carnal pursuits..

In my humble opinion, it's funny that he seems to so often troll the comment threads on Saturday evenings after the dinner hour. Is nothing (beside the weekly insurance premium to the man upstairs - and money) sacred to this troll? So I made a jokey observation:

Time to fire up the db. As you'd expect, the results are startling..

As of this writing I have scraped 37,935 comments for Puddybud. This is current through the end of March 2013.

How many of those were posted between 7pm and midnight on Saturday evenings? Drumroll...

1630 comments.. Hmmmm. It's 4.3 percent of his grand total. Is that a lot? . At first glance it might not seem that way. However, we're not done yet. Our goal is to measure how much Puddybud seems to need HA on Saturday nights.

How many total Saturdays have come and gone since Puddybud's first comment on HA and the last I have for him in my database?

414 Saturdays.. Yes about 8 years worth.. Now how many Saturday evenings during the five hours in question has Puddybud left comments.. 244..

That's 58.93 percent of those 414 Saturdays.  That folks is starting to look significant.

But we're not done yet! We have to correct for Puddybud's absences from HA and subtract from 414 any Saturday evenings during those absences.. I think it's fair to consider absences of 5 days or longer.. We'll let him off easy for 2, 3 or 4 day weekends where he behaves himself as he should. With the help of a few lines of code, I've calculated 44 such absences.. Glancing through the totality of his absences I surmise it's really hard for Puddybud to stay away from HA longer than a week (he's only managed to stay away longer than a week 12 times over 8 years)  but I digress.. How many Saturday evenings fall during those absences?

A smidgen more code says (brace yourself) 62 Saturday evenings.. Yes, that figure is triple checked.

Wow! Subtract 62 from 414 and we're left with a universe of 352  Puddyfool Saturday nights..

Which means Puddybud is active on Saturday nights 69.32 percent of the time that he has HA on the brain. Yes, Puddybud really seems to struggle with his need for HA on Saturday nights.. Poor troll..

Maybe later in an update I'll see if there's any other 5 hour stretch during the week that he needs more but I'll let this one sink in for a bit.

I'll end with a quote from Matt Taibbi. When I first read it, I felt it bordered on a cheap shot but now it just seems so wickedly appropriate:

All of these smug little jerks look alike to me – from Ralph Reed to Eric Cantor to Jeb Hensarling to Rand Paul and now to Ryan, they all look like overgrown kids who got nipple-twisted in the halls in high school, worked as Applebee’s shift managers in college, and are now taking revenge on the world as grownups by defunding hospice care and student loans and Sesame Street. They all look like they sleep with their ties on, and keep their feet in dress socks when doing their bi-monthly duty with their wives.

Duty calls indeed. Back to the Salt Mines!

Addendum: The distribution of those 1,630 comments across those 5 hours is interesting..

7:00pm hour: 247 comments. Starts out modestly..
8:00pm hour: 283 comments. Gathers steam.
9:00pm hour: 400 comments. Reaches peak hate.
10:00pm hour: 372 comments. Eases off as salt mining duty approaches.
11:00pm hour: 284 comments. Acceptance.

The Puddybud Series: The Only Question that Remains

So in the last post I revealed that Puddybud had "nothing bad to say about the SEIU" at least as of the time he wrote that - May 2007. Also, despite being the most prolific and obsessive troll in the HA comment threads by a country mile, he hasn't hurled the "union thug" epithet with quite as much force over the years of his trolling career as one might think.

So I promised to reveal something I've found and I will do that (even though many of you all ready know what it is). But this is my blog and I will build up to it.

First, things change and Puddybud's attitude towards the SEIU has changed since he had "nothing bad to say" back in May of 2007.

From the very same May 2007 thread:

If he joins the SEIU then I’d have change my opinion of them.

"he" is inactive commenter ByeByeGOP and "them" is SEIU.. To make a long story short, the opinion did change and I can't pin the change down to any one person, event or whatever..

But it didn't hurt that one day, yours truly, announced to the world, in (gulp!) the HA comment threads, that my wife had gotten a new job in an SEIU organized workplace. Which we were ecstatic about because her old job in a non-union place truly sucked. Everything in the new place was better: higher take-home pay, better benefits, working conditions and a wealth of career opportunities.

What did Puddybud have to say to that? From about a year later in 2008:

I just had to replay this PuddyFact since HAs clueless idiot admitted his wife was a SEIU member... So we see not only is HAs clueless idiot indoctrinated by the George Soros kool-aid sites but his wife is too through SEIU. So I guess I’ll have to admit someone married HAs clueless idiot and they drink from the same trough every morning.

This deserves some comment.. It is a fact that the comment quoted above is the first mention of SEIU by Puddybud since the comment I quoted before it, the "change my opinion" comment. A more than 1 year gap between the two. That is a fact.

And then..

Pretty soon yelling loser boy and his SEIU wife will be considered rich by Obama and then when they see their taxes increase Puddy told ya so!

Starting to get annoying (well, it's always that). But then it gets bizarre.

SeattleJew: The graduating football players could work for the SEIU. I’m sure yelling loser boy’s wife has great contacts..

And..

You chose the paragraph as part of your argument. Why back away now? You are in your SEIU corner now.

That one's my favorite.. But then it had to get creepy..

 So I have to ask the arschloch… was that Mrs Arschloch in the audience at the 10 second mark?

And..

Oh yeah… in the other thread I posted a Lerner video from Sept 22nd 2011. I asked the HA arschloch was that his wife cheering Lerner at the 10 second mark. The HA arschloch hasn’t answered. Hmmm… implied yes?

Well we come to it now.. I had had some suspicions about why, despite all the bile Puddybud has spewed about unions and SEIU in particular, that he had "nothing bad to say about the SEIU" in May of 2007. I prodded him about it here. Maybe that had something to do with him getting weird, maybe not..

But then it was only recently, the last couple of weeks, that I uncovered the big discovery. Here it is. Just a little more build up. This is from way back in 2005:

Listen you fucks…UNION MEMBERS ARE YOUR NEIGHBORS! They are your friends and your neighbors and your businesses’ customers…your fellow church members and your childrens’ friend’s MOMS and DADS! The “UNION” is NOT some monolithic corporation. It is PEOPLE. People who deservs a living wage. What do you assholes have against a man or woman being able to support
 their families? To have health insurance? To have a pension…like your FOLKS had. What a bunch of selfish fucking economically illiterate morons.

This impassioned statement by long-time commenter Rujax was responded to by a number of right wingers with the same old anti-union talking points we've heard many times before. And of course Puddybud had to add his two cents:

Hey Rujax: Let’s talk about unions. I have a family member who works at Ford. I live near a Boeing plant. I see dems Boeing peeples on strike. They claim they want a good wage and good benefits. I see them asking for free things my wife pays for in her union contract. I see them driving their foreign made cars to and from the plant. So why should I be so gung ho about their union position and wanting the airlines to buy American if they drive foreign cars.

Whoa.. WHOA! WHOA! Back that up!

They claim they want a good wage and good benefits. I see them asking for free things my wife pays for in her union contract. 

AGAIN!

my wife pays for in her union contract. 

WOW! Well don't that beat all... Like Rujax said, they are our neighbors and damn, some of us are even married to them..

Your words Puddybud. You typed them in. I didn't make them up or change them. I just found them looking for something related. And I don't get it Puddybud. What happened to "a house divided cannot stand"???

Turnabout is fair play. The only question that remains is..

Which union is it?

The Puddybud Series: On Unions

A part of the right wing tribal identity is a loathing of labor unions.. Constant harping on the ethical failings of union leadership and tactics as if the owners of capital and their body and soul bought tools in management never did anything underhanded or unethical.

In the run-up to the disastrous outcome of the Wisconsin recall elections we saw from our local troll brigade a lot of the typical foaming, spittle-flying and hurling of the "union thug" epithet - one of their favorite drumbeats. And of course when things turned out badly (bad indeed, but could have been worse), we saw the ugliest jeering and gloating from the trolls.

Of course, Puddybud, like any other right wing true believer fits right in with all of this. But over the last year or so I've found his case to be somewhat special..

During the recall election run-up I thought I'd do a search through my database on the "union thug" drumbeat to examine who's used it the most over the years..

A search turns up the usual suspects, trolls well known to long time comment thread readers. Trolls like JCH, Doofus, ProudAss, Pooper Scott, christmasghost, John425, prr and of course Puddybud..

But which troll has used "union thug" the most? Puddybud who is the #2 most prolific commenter at HA? The answer is NO! As of the end of April 2012, the top usage of "union thug" award goes to JCH a unhinged, OCD troll who was banned long ago - one of the very few trolls to be banned from HA..

So Puddybud is #2 again! Why? Methinks Puddybud may be just a little soft on unions.. Just a little.. Let's look at this first:

I’m going to shock many Moonbat!s on this board. I have nothing bad to say about the SEIU.

Shocking?? Uh yeah.. Freaking unbelievable. Totally incongruous.. From the same guy who before this May 2007 comment said stuff like:

 You will see all the thug unions, ya know those you support extorting union dues from the common man who doesn’t support their politics, giving to d u m m o c r a p s.

or

Your people, union thugs control, what goes into the schools. Your people, union thugs control, control the education process 

And going back to the article that motivated the SEIU comment?? What was that about? It was about SEIU trying to keep a Tim Eyman Initiative off the ballot. Nothing bad to say about that?

Well if that doesn't make any sense I found something REALLY INCONGRUOUS just in the last couple of weeks while I was searching for Puddybud's anti-union rants. And this comment I uncovered puts a lot of things in perspective in very interesting ways..

Next post..

Purple Haze: Marvin Stamn Pays Us a Visit

Marvin Stamn, execrable troll of old, one of only a handful that have ever been banned from the HA comment threads paid us a visit about 10 days back. Let's examine what he had to say:

I love knowing I'm so deep in your head you still think and write about me. I always knew you had a thing for me. :)

Isn't that just like a troll? So desirous of attention.. So caught up in their small-minded delusions..

Uh sorry Marvie but don't flatter yourself. It was Puddybud who started the ball rolling. His idiocy was the topic of my blog post, not yours.. It was Puddybud who brought your miserable troll moniker into the altercation.. Too bad you're so reading  comprehension challenged. That is common to many right wing trolls but I digress.

This is the first time I've visited this blog, your assumption that I visited here before is based on your belief I am the only person in Pasadena with internet access.

So does this mean you DO live in Pasadena, Marvin? Let's say it doesn't for the moment. YOUR assumption like so much else you've spewed on the interwebs is WRONG, dumbass WRONG. But we'll get to that in a second.

Your image says Pasadena. If you knew what you were talking about you would compare IP addresses.

Bzzzt.. Wrong... Sorry Marvie. How would I get an IP address from the Pasadenan who visited my blog only moments before you commented under an altered handle to get past the ban at HA? Google Analytics doesn't make visitor IP addresses available. It says that here:

Google Analytics does not report the actual IP address information to Google Analytics customers. 

You do know I made the image from a snapshot of Google Analytics don't you Marvin? And no, the builtin stats from blogger does not reveal ip address either.

If I really cared that much about you I wouldn't be using Google would I? I'd be running my own web server like Goldy does at HA which captures the exact IP address without batting an eye. No pesky Google privacy policy when you run your own web server. Sorry Marv, just not that much into you and the rest of the troll brigade. It's sad enough that you carry on as you do. Why would I want to know more?

And then even if I had that address? What would I "compare" it to? No Marvin I don't have access to the server stats from HA and yes the crippled stuff from Site Meter gets you close but no cigar.. At least not enough for a troll like yourself and his eternal game of one-upsmanship..

Now for politics..

Funny how all the concern for global warming has been shoved under the bus with a democrat is in the white house..

Bzzzzt.. Pathetic.. No Marv, people's concerns are taken up these days with merely SURVIVING due to the Bush depression people like you did their best to enable. Gee what if your crowd had had their way with ozone layer eaters like CFC's? We'd be extinct by now. We may get there yet. Again thanks to your crowd.

Same with anti-war protests. Can you imagine the howling from the left if bush used a drone to intentionally kill an American citizen without a trail of due process. 

Uh Marv.. Last I looked there were no combat soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan is on its way to being wound down. Yes, Obama's assassination of an American citizen was a heinous act but from where is the silence truly deafening??? From Glenn Greenwald and other progressive commentators? No Marv. Try DICK CHENEY and his crowd. Sorry, Obama is a politician and his legacy is a failure if he doesn't get another 4 years.. He didn't make the rules. Taking the war-mongering crowd out of the game by continuing some of their policies is winning ugly but it may still be winning. And that at the end of the day is all people like you (the lackey of those who make the rules) give a crap about.

Now democrats are in favor of keeping gitmo open.

Wrong again Marv. Democrats are in favor of keeping their jobs out of the hands of Republicans who taunt and fear-monger them about being "soft on terrorism" and "bringing terrorists onto American soil".. Nope Marv, you don't do your constituents any good by being out of office. Ask any Republican thrown out on their asses in 2006 out there. (No, glibertarians or losertarians wouldn't know anything about that, sorry.)

Good thing democrats are so wishy washy and without principle,

LMAO!!! And Republicans are truly blessed with principle - win at all costs and reward those who brung 'em with tax cuts, next to no worker safety, "right to work", freedom to pollute and free reign to shake down/cheat consumers at will. Are things really shitty at the moment? Hell, the Republicans will show you the real shit. Fine principles those Marv!

otherwise this Obama regime would be killing them.

LMAO at your silly "logic" there Marv.. Last I looked we just tried and convicted a couple of terrorists - the underwear bomber and the Times Square buffoon. Didn't have to export them to Gitmo first and no Democrat died carrying out American justice just like it was with Ramzi Youseff in the Clinton days.. As usual - dumbass (you) is as dumbass "thinks" (hallucinates is the better word).

Finally, Marvin blesses us with one last gem:

Only #6?

Heh. Yeah too bad Goldy banned you Marv.. You'd have easily, easily overtaken Puddybud as #2 - smelly product of the ass-end of the right wing propaganda machine at our favorite haunt - the HA comment threads.

Indeed your politics suck Marvin. We could have gone into a lot more of your silly legacy at HA which is preserved indefinitely in the database I keep. Maybe we will some day.

I hope all is well with you and yours to boot. Thanks for the visit!

On Steve Jobs

His philosophy of aesthetics reminds me of a quote that went something like this: “Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.”

Steve always aspired to make beautiful later.

He was willing to be misunderstood.

Zombies

The Montana "friendo" (right) and his leetle sidekick, you-know-who!

The "friendo" from Montana hungers for the flesh of an occupier.

The zombie cretin reaches for a "happy meal". Mmmm yum! Leftist!

The asshat troll in his "natural" state.

The asshat troll again, taking a "breather".

The asshat troll (hat off) having a screwdriver at happy hour. Yikes! What a headache the next morning. Go easy on the sauce dude.

The Puddybud Series: Puddybud is an Idiot

See this thread.


The moron begins:

I know you’ll neva do it but you could tell ekim where I’ve been in the world for the last three months since you know how to tell where everyone posts from on this blog. 

Me:

Nope you silly dope I don’t know where “everyone” posts from unless “everyone” (meaning here right wing dopes) is REALLY REALLY STUPID and tells me!

Puddydope:

Second you were the one [heroic truthteller]…

26. YLB spews: @23 – Greetings from Torrance perhaps?05/24/2011 at 9:10 pm27. YLB spews: Shit! Pasadena? From a Mac?? Must be hangin’ with the girlfriend eh Marviepoo?05/24/2011 at 9:11 pm

I know how to figger this out and this proves you do too. Now who claimed IP Addresses except you? I neva mentioned IP Addresses in my commentary above.

Me:

In both instances I was “told” this moron.

Can you possibly figure out from that shitpile between your ears how the parties involved “told” me this?

Doesn’t seem so..

LMAO!!!

Puddydummy:

Oh really? In CYA mode now eh [HA hero]? So it has to be the [greatest conveyance of the truth] since you are the whole [HA hero YLB]! In that thread Marvin never mentioned where he was or the system he was using. So you are saying those posts were another of your [brilliant] postings, still at 100% perfect for slinghing your [magnificent eloquence] on HA!

Me:

Absolutely [I am magnificently eloquent].. AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN…

AGAIN…

Marvin “TOLD” me where he was posting from!

YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW HOW HE DID THAT!

DUMBASS!

Puddystupid:

Search your databaze on May 2011. Where did Marvin tell you he posted from his girlfriends MAC in Torrence or Pasadena in May 2011 since he WAS BANNED? You traded emails?

In your words “PROVE IT”!

Me:

THINK THINK WITH THAT FETID DUNGHEAP YOU CALL YOUR BRAIN!!!

WHAT COULD MARVIN HAVE DONE TO “TELL” ME???

Hint: BESIDES commenting at HA????

Puddyidiot:

Remember, my original commentary before meeting [one of the ha gods YLB].

Sucks to be [PuddyFOOL]!

Me:

hopeless…

PuddyFOOL:

All that [eloquent, well reasoned writing] above and the [HA hero YLB] still hasn’t answered the question since Marvin was banned by Goldy long ago.

Now I get the last word. It's my blog after all. Yeah Marvin was banned long ago but at least on two occasions he's commented at HA under a slightly altered handle to get past the banning controls. The latest to my knowledge was MAY 24, 2011 - the day PuddyFOOL quotes him above.

NOW.. How could Marvin Stamn "tell" me that he was posting from Pasadena on that day??? Something that PuddyFOOL is either too stupid to figure out  or is just being an asshole.

Here:

To read this, first click on it to see it better, then look at the upper right where you will see where I believe Marvin Stamn "told" me. Look just below that and you'll see the date he "told" me. Then look at the bottom of the picture slightly to left of center. What do you see???


Yes if you know ANYTHING about the stats that web servers keep when you click on a website, you'll also know web servers log the kind of machine you accessed the website with - in this particular case, the machine associated with the access from Pasadena was an Apple MacIntosh.


Now how do I know that Marvin clicked on this blog? Because at the same time he left the comment on May 24 at HA, I looked over at my blog and looked at the Feedjit Traffic Feed on the lower right - there was an access from Pasadena just minutes before and it was from a MAC.


Why Pasadena? Here's the reason for that:

19. Marvin Stamn spews:  

My girlfriend is an elementary school teacher in the hood of pasadena

05/09/2008 AT 3:54 PM

Coincidence? I believe NOT.

Yes, PuddyFOOL is an IDIOT!

More Bullshit Code!

This code is actually from another project. I'll eventually use it in the troll project. It's kind of simple but it's just so damn awesome to me from a geek perspective:

Click the picture above to see it better.

What does it do?

Answer: Anyone who has been around long enough to have suffered through writing a report in COBOL may remember the ancient concept of a "control break" - simply the point where upon reading a record you test if the condition has been met to print a sub-total, accumulate a grand total, etc. In this code, I've got a bunch of files in a directory, I select the files only (excluding anything else like subdirectories) and sort those files by their date/time stamp. Then I produce a report of a tally of files by the day they were placed in this directory. The "control-break" happens right in the middle of the code snippet above - the "if" clause. Could you ever "push" something in COBOL? The end result of this code is an array of hashes. Any number of table formatters (like the one I use for the troll project) can spit out something halfway readable. Like so:

The geek value is in how, with so few lines of code these days, you can express something that required so much more sweat in the bad old days. What is even funnier is that you could have done something like this even back then - with Lisp. I wonder if some shop somewhere in those days used Lisp for mundane data processing. Probably only a handful - memory cost a huge amount of money in those days.

I was watching a talk by Ruby superstar Aaron Patterson and he said this is much faster:

Click on the above to see it better.

Inject is expressive but slow apparently. I haven't had a chance to benchmark this particular code.

Inevitable humbling update: I was watching another videocast and what I'm doing above has a simple name: a histogram. The vidcaster of course had a butt simple way of doing the above. No fancy array of hashes, pushes, maps or injects - just one hash:

Click above to see it better.

Hashes are ordered in Ruby 1.9.2. so the end result comes out ok. Older rubies take a bit more work. You learn something new every day.

A View from the Head...

of tehchickenshit troll..

Quite a limited worldview to be sure..

More Bullshit Code!

In the last installment we looked at some code that implements the "added view column" (ac) feature of my column search program. I demoed it in the comment threads here.

The column search (hacols) is the program whose output I often post in the comment threads. One day I needed a convenient way to assemble a url to a specific comment from parts I had already been collecting and thus the "added view column" feature to hacols was born. The feature allows me to develop a short one-liner program on the command line and then once it's working, store it to be recalled for later use. It becomes just another column (albeit unsearchable) for views of the database. So far I've used added view columns to generate comment urls and to downcase and strip out html from comment bodies. Check it out:

Click on the graphic above to see it better.

Blogging this code led me to thinking. Counting the results of a search and executing view code on those results is at present an either/or. One bit of code that executes later is the "uniq" feature which filters out redundant results. What if I wanted to count the unique results of a search like all the variations on Puddybud's handle in the comments file? Uh.. I can't do that with this code. And yikes! What's with copying tr to a results array? Why not update tr in place? What a waste! And sigh, it makes sense to do that inject only when adding columns at the command line not every time we convert the vetted code strings to procs for view execution. Ditto for storing. How humbling...

So the big if statement drops to the cutting room floor and the following refactor is born. Here:

 and here:

What a difference a little time and blogging makes. Brand new code next time.

Update: Found yet more optimizations for larger result sets. I won't discuss them. I promise.

The Puddybud Series: Where We Reveal Puddybud's Last Name

I once read in a detective novel that solving mysteries is simply a matter of learning, over and over again with each mystery, to see what is right in front of one's face.

In this post, the mystery I am reporting to have solved, is the last name of Puddybud.


We know his true first name - Darrell. We've known it for a long time. He signed one of his early comments with it:

149. Puddybud spews: 

David: Part of my post above was missing. I asked “I see you posted your first answer to me on the Sabbath”. What’s up with that?
Darrell

05/31/2005 AT 7:01 AM

It did not go unnoticed. See the exposure and then attempted cover-up by Puddybud's disastrous sockpuppet "Mike Webb Sucks":

7. Mike Webb Sucks spews:
MyLeftFoot@8 The poster who is currently posting as MWS is also identifiable as Puddybuddy. He has identified himself as “Darrell” and shared with us that he is “A Sabbath Keeper”. I’m not sure exactly what he means by this, whether he is some flavor of “Messianic Jew” or Seventh Day Adventist, or even further out in the ozone layer like David Khoresh, but he shares many characteristics of the hard right whackjobs of several religions, Christian, Jewish or Islamic. Fanatics tend to blend into one, whether they are Christian Enthusiasticks, Likudnik Ultra-hawks, or militant Jihadist Shiites. Commentby Tree Frog Farmer— 8/16/06@ 5:50 pm
KillatreeFrog: Since you claim I am Puddy, how can you prove this? My blogging is no where the level of his. Unlike you who uses the same names for your political enemies, you have no proof.

08/16/2006 at 6:21 pm

But enough ancient history. Now we reveal the whole rotten enchilada:

Puddy grew up in that environment and Puddy left that reservation long ago. So you can blather on about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs because when you look at it you are another Pavlov’s little doggies.Now bark to the latest commands of “the messiah”. Sit UBU sit good doggie.

09/02/2009 at 1:11 pm

and:

55. Puddybud is shocked SHOCKED spews:
Watch soon for clusterfucked cinderblock to make another insipid comment on those pastors against Puddy.
He’s another of Pavlov’s Leetle Doggies.

09/05/2009 at 10:46 pm

and finally:

Remember jerkoff, Puddy is Pavlov and you are the jerkoff AKA Pavlov’s dog! Such a moronic twit of a twat!

12/25/2010 at 10:00 pm

So there it is boys and girls. Puddybud is Darrell "Pavlov". His "ancestors came from Europe" indeed!

Well, whad'ya say to that Mr. P.?

Thanks Puddybud for letting us in on the secret for all these years! Talk about hiding in plain sight. But please excuse me. Like Comrade Investigator Arkady Renko, I'm a bit slow on the uptake. LMAO!

(Fine print: Yes this is a joke post. I don't care in the least who Puddybud really is, what he does for a living or anything else. After reading a good portion of his stream of unhinged spew over the years, I don't care to meet him, ever. I hope if I one day pass him on the street or I'm in the same room with him that I'm completely oblivious as to who he is. I know what he has done in the HA comment threads since late April 2005 and I NEVER want to put a face to the author of that HORROR. Do I respect his privacy? I'd want him to do the same for me or anyone else would I? Happy MLK day by the way.)

Bullshit Code!

During the back and forth in the comment threads over the tragic shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (among others), Puddybud went off on yours truly:

You wasted all those unemployed months telling the unemployment office you were looking for a yob while writing BULLSHIT code!

Bullshit code??? Hey those are fighting words!

Can Puddybud or anyone else tell "the world" what this does?

This will be the first of another occasional series. Not once a week like the "Bird's Eye View" but...  you get the idea.

Update: no takers yet.. (Puddybud dumped on it, of course.) In case you didn't notice, that if statement above is dangling. So I'll complete it and we'll see what happens:

Hint: I actually demoed what this code does some time back - in the comment threads.

Yet another update: Wow! I'm glad I blogged this code. Kind of forced me to look at it more closely and I've already re-factored it some to yield just a bit more functionality. Details to come in the next BS Code post.

The Puddybud Series: The Definition of "WAY BEFORE"

Again:

Puddy was the recipient of name calling WAY BEFORE Puddy called people names.

 Ok forget that Puddybud, in his very first comment, called Goldy a "butt" (which he has flat out denied) and a "HorsesAss", which we'll set aside - after all, Tim Eyman got that from Goldy, right? It's only right Goldy should expect that from Eyman supporters, right?

What about this "WAY BEFORE" stuff? What does that mean?

I think it means 2:42 - two hours and 42 minutes. Puddybud claims he was name-called by we liberals WAY BEFORE he started giving it back. Well maybe he was.

Start with his second comment:

76. Puddybud spews:


Wow this one is funny. Only in WA. State, do felons vote Republican, while everywhere else they vote >70% DumbocRAPTic?
Good to see Unkl Witz is alive but posting here.
To AllHatAndNoHorse: In Florida 2000, where did all them “spoilt” ballots come from? Dumbocraptic districts run by U people. WHo controls Palm Beach, Broward and Miami Dade? U guys do. Get a life people.
Pudster

04/27/2005 at 3:13 pm

Obviously obnoxious (U people, DumbocRAPTic?) but let's set that aside for the moment. Here's  a response only a few comments later:

80. AllHatAndNoHorse spews:

PuddyLicker@CharrdsCrackage,
In Florida 2000, where did all them “spoilt” ballots come from? Dumbocraptic districts run by U people. WHo controls Palm Beach, Broward and Miami Dade? U guys do. Get a life people.
Pudster
Comment by Puddybud
http://www.stat.ufl.edu/~presnell/Tech-Reps/election2000.pdf
Here, then try this.
Pudlick, you are.

04/27/2005 at 3:52 pm

Ok that was pretty intemperate, arguably aggravated but all-in-all there's a undeniable name call. So the question is, when did Puddybud respond with his first name call after that? Here:

96. Puddybud spews:

Hey HorsesAsses:
I know you guys were thinking I just spout off unsubstantiated facts. Well you left leaning space cadets lookie here:

...

Remember: Willie Horton carries a picture of Mike Dukakis in his wallet.
BTW AllHatAndNoHorse: This hetero Pud does lick butt not you bud!
Do you left hemispheric missing Goldy lovers need more info, just respond!!!!!
As always, NUFF SAID!!!!
Pudster

04/27/2005 at 6:34 pm

Well there it is. Name-calling in the third comment, two hours and 42 minutes after it was first done to him.

"WAY BEFORE" defined. And darned if Puddybud's hand was forced to start name-calling just shy of 3 1/2 HOURS after his first comment at HA.org.

Before Puddybud moves the goal posts on name-calling:

The name-calling technique links a person, or idea, to a negative symbol. The propagandist who uses this technique hopes that the audience will reject the person or the idea on the basis of the negative symbol, instead of looking at the available evidence. 

Yes Puddybud, "space cadet", is a negative symbol.

The Puddybud Series: Monomaniacal!

monomania/mɒnəˈmeɪniə/
▶noun obsessive preoccupation with one thing.
– derivatives
monomaniac noun & adjective,
monomaniacal adjective.

 The world "monomoniacal" appears, as of the end of November 2010, in 238 comments. Let's see who's used the word over the years:

Puddybud shows up quite prominently. In fact his various handles account for 222 out of the 238 usages. Since this series is about having some fun at his expense, some laugh-out-loud yucks, let's drill down into why.

First a quote with some explanation:

You gotta love when one of your own peeps nailed you as monomaniacal. HAs clueless village knuckle dragging idiot is monomaniacal!

One of my own peeps??? Yes, fellow liberal-leaning commenter "Proud  To Be An Ass" in the process of  reacting to Mr. Cynical's "congratulations" to yours truly for solving one of Lee's Bird's Eye View puzzles, kind of, sort of, hinted that along with being a bit odd and a computer nerd that I was - monomaniacal. It's here. Judge for yourself the gravity of what PTBAA said.

So what did Puddybud then do? Snatched the ball and ran with it of course. From 3/8/2009 through 7/20/2010 Puddybud called yours truly the "m" word over 222 times in 222 or so comments. As usual the fantasies got a bit grotesque, overwrought and inflated. Again with some commentary:

LMBBAO, Oh Yes it is moron… Who called you the monomaniacal one September 2008? A leftist just like you. Spotted your filth from far away.

Uh.. Slight correction there Puddybud - it was March 2009. The "m" word was not used once in 9/2008... (and "called" is debatable). And the "filth"? Could that have been solving the Bird's Eye View puzzle?

You see clueless wonder, when you are a higher life form peeps support you. When you are the HA knuckle dragger even your own kind call you monomaniacal.

Yeah right. Again, one guy - maybe..

Keep hope alive monomaniacal clueless wonder, porno king.
LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO

blah, blah, blah - at least 220 more times...

So what ended it? I like to pat myself on the back and say it was the database. On 7/18/2010 we see the beginning of the end:

Remember it was one of your kind who called you monomaniacal.

Once and as you’re so fond of reapeating yourself:
mylaptop:~$ b cols “-f=c -c=handle:matches~’*puddybud’,body:matches~’*monomaniacal’ -C”
+——-+
| count |
+——-+
| 209 |
+——-+
1 row in set

Stupid I’d call THAT.

That particular thread is worth a read-through in my humble opinion. Not only did I use the database to expose the OCD repetitiveness of Puddybud's "m" word attack but in that same thread I fielded other attacks from some hit-squaders. (Puddybud's use of "we" in that thread is interesting in that regard.) I believe hit-squad activity, at least those attacks directed at me, dropped off markedly after that.

And Puddybud? He used the "m" word against me a dozen or so times over the next couple of days - till 7/20. He hasn't used it since. He had apparently, as he likes to say from time to time, "moved on".

Final notes:

Not one single commenter of any political persuasion has used the word "monomaniacal" since Puddybud last used it here on 7/20/2010.

Someone once referred to Puddybud as "monomaniacal" here. This was a little bit after PTBAA's comment. No, the commenter was not a right winger.

Let's chalk this all up, as my fellow liberal commenter Steve would say, to Psych 101 "projection". Doncha' love it?

The Puddybud Series: Who Started the Name-Calling?

Short answer: Puddybud did.

Proof:

First, a quote from old #2 himself:

Puddy was the recipient of name calling WAY BEFORE Puddy called people names.

Yes he's said this many times. We liberal leaning folk started name-calling him. He was provoked into being such an OCD name-calling troll.

Sorry Puddybud. This is not true. Let's look at your very first comment at HA.org (as Puddybud, anyway), way back in April 2005:

Hey Goldy: You never answered my question I posted to you on the wonderful SoundPolitics blog. Butt as you are, no guts to answer.

Notice the emphasis. Puddybud continued this "butt" fetish and it didn't go un-noticed by the HA.org faithful. Motivated by the obnoxious commentary of this newly minted troll some started calling him "Puddy-butt". Why spell the conjunction "but" in this fashion? Well, Puddybud eventually answered:

The Butt is my reference to you all, especially Armageddon. He/she/it has many friends down here in the San Francisco area. In fact isn’t Armageddon the San Francisco treat?

Well, there it is. He's calling everyone who doesn't care for his views a "butt". However(!), return to his first comment - "Butt as you are" - this can also be read as calling Goldy a "butt".

Of course Puddybud might claim that Goldy was the original name caller, calling Tim Eyman a horse's ass (a statement of fact in my opinion), or he might restate that he commented on HA.org earlier under another name (for which he's never offered a link as proof and likely never will) and was name-called for his trouble.

In any case, the evidence remains quite strong that Puddybud started the name-calling right out of the gate and it's little wonder that people have reacted to him negatively ever since.

Your move Puddybud.

Update: Puddybud denies calling Goldy a "butt" and still claims victim status.

Get a Job!

DB Snapshot Demo

Enjoy.. Blow it up to full screen to see it better.



Update: small bug found in the snapshot code. As of my last run, the db has 238 comment records over 8 articles in August. Before it was just importing the same 168 records.