Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Puddybud Series: Back to the Salt Mines!

Over the course of the 8 years that Puddybud has polluted the HA comment threads, all of us liberal regulars have been bored to tears with his semi-regular bragging about his sex life.. It started almost from the beginning.. The comments range from the florid and bloated to the very intimate details but of course, like everything else he blathers about, it's always obnoxious. Like for example:

12:54 am most “husbands” are taking care of bidness with their wives.

People apparently can't comment on HA while the last parts of SNL play in the background. And sex only happens during times the idiot commands.. You get the picture..

Just recently out of the blue, in light of that last bit of idiocy from Puddyahole, it struck me.. This guy seems to comment a lot on Saturday evenings.. And as all of us regulars know, Saturday is a special day of the week to this troll.. Not only is it his day of worship, that at one time, he tried to keep holy..  After sundown on Saturday, the obligations to the almighty are met and then for this troll it is time for, let's say, more carnal pursuits..

In my humble opinion, it's funny that he seems to so often troll the comment threads on Saturday evenings after the dinner hour. Is nothing (beside the weekly insurance premium to the man upstairs - and money) sacred to this troll? So I made a jokey observation:

Time to fire up the db. As you'd expect, the results are startling..

As of this writing I have scraped 37,935 comments for Puddybud. This is current through the end of March 2013.

How many of those were posted between 7pm and midnight on Saturday evenings? Drumroll...

1630 comments.. Hmmmm. It's 4.3 percent of his grand total. Is that a lot? . At first glance it might not seem that way. However, we're not done yet. Our goal is to measure how much Puddybud seems to need HA on Saturday nights.

How many total Saturdays have come and gone since Puddybud's first comment on HA and the last I have for him in my database?

414 Saturdays.. Yes about 8 years worth.. Now how many Saturday evenings during the five hours in question has Puddybud left comments.. 244..

That's 58.93 percent of those 414 Saturdays.  That folks is starting to look significant.

But we're not done yet! We have to correct for Puddybud's absences from HA and subtract from 414 any Saturday evenings during those absences.. I think it's fair to consider absences of 5 days or longer.. We'll let him off easy for 2, 3 or 4 day weekends where he behaves himself as he should. With the help of a few lines of code, I've calculated 44 such absences.. Glancing through the totality of his absences I surmise it's really hard for Puddybud to stay away from HA longer than a week (he's only managed to stay away longer than a week 12 times over 8 years)  but I digress.. How many Saturday evenings fall during those absences?

A smidgen more code says (brace yourself) 62 Saturday evenings.. Yes, that figure is triple checked.

Wow! Subtract 62 from 414 and we're left with a universe of 352  Puddyfool Saturday nights..

Which means Puddybud is active on Saturday nights 69.32 percent of the time that he has HA on the brain. Yes, Puddybud really seems to struggle with his need for HA on Saturday nights.. Poor troll..

Maybe later in an update I'll see if there's any other 5 hour stretch during the week that he needs more but I'll let this one sink in for a bit.

I'll end with a quote from Matt Taibbi. When I first read it, I felt it bordered on a cheap shot but now it just seems so wickedly appropriate:
All of these smug little jerks look alike to me – from Ralph Reed to Eric Cantor to Jeb Hensarling to Rand Paul and now to Ryan, they all look like overgrown kids who got nipple-twisted in the halls in high school, worked as Applebee’s shift managers in college, and are now taking revenge on the world as grownups by defunding hospice care and student loans and Sesame Street. They all look like they sleep with their ties on, and keep their feet in dress socks when doing their bi-monthly duty with their wives.
Duty calls indeed. Back to the Salt Mines!

Addendum: The distribution of those 1,630 comments across those 5 hours is interesting..

7:00pm hour: 247 comments. Starts out modestly..
8:00pm hour: 283 comments. Gathers steam.
9:00pm hour: 400 comments. Reaches peak hate.
10:00pm hour: 372 comments. Eases off as salt mining duty approaches.
11:00pm hour: 284 comments. Acceptance.